Food and Villains

I have two unusually delicious recipes and a list of villains to share with you.

Frosted Crackers

Melt butter and mix in powdered sugar until it has the consistency of frosting. Spread on saltine crackers. It is so delicious and addicting! You can use non-homemade frosting, but it won't be as good as powdered sugar and butter frosting.

Thirst Quencher

Mix one part carrot juice and two parts orange juice. Vary the ratio of orange or carrot to taste. Carrot juice might not sound good (I don't like it), but mixed with orange juice it is very satisfying.

Reeses Toast

Toast a piece of bread and spread peanut butter on it. Then take chocolate syrup and drizzle lightly over the peanut butter. Spread the chocolate with a knife so it evenly coats the peanut butter.

I'm not exactly sure what this tagging thing is, but Zella has tagged me and told me to list my seven favorite fictional villains, so here they are (with explanations).

1. Professor Moriaty from Sherlock Holmes: The only villain who could outthink Holmes. He is brilliant!

2. Aornis from Lost in a Good Book: This isn't necessarily because she is a fabulous villain, but because her method of murder is so clever! She decreases entropy in order to kill by coincidence on purpose!

3. Artemis Fowl: He clever and is always two steps ahead of the others. I especially love the last book (The Time Paradox) when the reformed Artemis has to fight against his younger (still evil) self.

4. Vice Principal Nero from A Series of Unfortunate Events: This was a difficult one. I love all the villains in the series, from Esme Squalor to the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with the hair but no beard. I picked Nero because he is so ridiculously illogical, one wants to strangle him. Also, he plays horrible, screechy, six-hour violin concerts and forces the students to attend. His punishments are absurd (buying him a bag of candy and watching him eat it, taking away silverware and forcing students to eat with their hands tied behind their back) and he likes to repeat students' sentences in a high pitched squeal to mock them.

5. The villain from Demons and Angels: I can't say who it is, because it would be a spoiler, but the reason I picked this one is the surprise it gave me. When I found out who the villain was I literally had to sit for 10 minutes and process it.

6. Lady Macbeth from Macbeth: Macbeth was one of the first Shakespeare plays I read, and I love Lady Macbeth, especially because of her eventual mental breakdown. She is manipulative but eventually succumbs to the evil she has done, and she, I think, is one of Shakespeare's more human villains.

7. The Tin Man from House: House is one of the scariest books I have ever read. I had trouble deciding between two Dekker villains (the other was Eve from Adam) but Tin Man ended up winning. The story of House goes like this: four people end up locked inside a deserted house that they thought was a hotel. A tin can is dropped down the chimney. It reads, "Welcome to my house. House rules: 1. God came to my house and I killed him. 2. I will kill anyone who comes to my house as I killed God. 3. Give me one dead body, and I might let rule two slide. Game over at dawn."

So there is my list of villains. I don't know that they're necessarily all of my favorites, but they are ones that I have particularly liked :)

The Joys of Modern Music

As much as I love formal dances, I have a love-hate relationship with the actual dancing. (The dinner is usually the most best part of the evening.) This is my commentary on/criticism of a few of the songs they have played at dances in years past.

"Gimme More"

Serena: More what? Gimme more what, Melody?

Melody: I have no idea!

Serena: I wish I could figure out what she wants more of...

"Replay"

In Psychology class I learned that a tune that gets stuck in ones head is called an earworm. I guess it isn't quite as romantic to say "Shawty's like an earworm," but it sure would be amusing. Now that's the only thing I can think of when I hear this song!

The section of this song with the words "I can be your melody. Oh girl, I could write you a symphony" has always bothered me. The first line makes sense. If the girl is a song stuck in his head, he wants to be her melody. The metaphor makes sense. It breaks the metaphor with "I could write you a symphony," however. Writing a symphony is something that is generally done literally and not figuratively, so it weakens the extended metaphor. Also, I sincerely doubt the speaker could write a prelude, much less a symphony. Do you know how much you have to understand about instruments and music theory to compose a symphony?

"Love Story"

"You were Romeo and you were throwing pebbles..."

Serena: You know, if he were really Romeo, he would be committing suicide, not throwing pebbles.

Kaitlin: (laughing) Just dance, Serena.

I've always had a problem with Romeo and Juliet being the archetypal love story. I think it is the archetypal story of adolescent stupidity. (I also don't believe in love at first sight. Lust at first sight or infatuation at first sight, sure, but not love.) Also, the speaker compares herself to a "scarlet letter." While I admire the ambitious nature of both of these allusions, I think the second is just as faulty as the first. The speaker should not be alluding to adultery: infidelity is hardly romantic.

"Carry-out"

I always consult Melody if I want to know about a song, because she knows pop music (unlike me).

Serena: What is this song?

Melody: Well, it's by Justin Timberlake, and it's about sex

Serena: Hm. You don't hear a lot of songs about that...

Melody: I know, right? The thing about this one is the whole song uses fast food metaphor for sex.

Serena: Ooh! How deeply edifying!

While this metaphor is no doubt... unique, and I am impressed with the music world's increasing use of literary devices, this song is so bad I don't even need to criticize it. The extended metaphor is weak and inconsistent. When one uses a metaphor, or any figurative language, it ought to help someone better understand a facet of what one is describing. The fast food metaphor doesn't accomplish this.

Out of many, one

My mind has been very fecund (I love that word!) this week. I've been turning a lot of ideas over in my head; none of them is enough to make a blog post, but together they are blog-worthy. E pluribus unum!

• Did you know that when you see Broadway shows (not even necessarily on Broadway) they often have restroom ushers? The bathrooms are big to accommodate everyone who attends the show, so there will be a uniformed attendant in the ladies' room watching for open stalls and gesturing you to them. I can't speak for the men's room, but their lines are always 10 times shorter than the women's, so I assume that they do not need an usher.
• The English language has no words with three letters in a row. It would be very interesting if "eee" sounded different from "ee" and "e," for example.
• Right now, a lot of e-commerce is not taxed. While I love buying books on Amazon without paying sales tax, it seems like the national government could make a bundle putting a sales tax on items bought over the internet. I read in my economics book that originally e-commerce was not taxed to ensure its growth, but we all recognize that it is here to stay now.
• It is frustrating how neither one of these: "I have to go to the bathroom really bad" or "I have to go to the bathroom really badly" sounds correct. I was puzzling over it and decided one could say "I badly have to go to the bathroom." Mrs. D suggested "I have to go to the bathroom desperately." This eliminates the problem, and sounds very dramatic. That's my grammar puzzle of the week!
• Sometimes, it is more difficult to write things badly than to write them well, especially if you are trying to make it sound like you are trying to write well but are failing. (If that makes sense at all. It made sense in my head!)
• Honey mustard always comes in little tubs with wrappers on top that you peel off, but ketchup always comes in squeeze packets. They are used for roughly the same purposes and are the same consistency... why the different packaging?

Effective Therapy

We watched this in AP Psychology today and it is really funny! Don't scroll down and read the comments though, because they spoil the punch lines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k

I'll actually post something intellectual soon I promise... either about meaningless hyperbole or a poem to/about Estelle. We'll see which one I finish first.

Somewhat Like a Drug Addiction

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, an addiction is a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.

So, some of the necessary characteristics to define an addiction are that it is compulsive, it is persistent, there are symptoms upon withdrawal, and the substance is harmful. Also, according to a website about drug abuse and addiction, "one of the most dangerous effects of drug abuse and addiction is denial. The urge to use is so strong, that the mind finds many ways to rationalize the addiction."

As I was musing recently, I found some interesting parallels between my impulsive and compulsive buying and reading of books and substance addiction.

A Quick Caveat: I do not wish to belittle substance abuse and addiction, or to claim that my situation is in any way comparable--it is only similar on a MUCH smaller scale. In addition, I am not claiming to be addicted to books (books, unlike drugs, are not a negative or harmful substance), so please do not accuse me of hypocrisy when my next blog post about meaningless hyperbole is published.

An addiction is compulsive: Over spring break, I found myself repeatedly buying books, even after a shopping spree at Barnes and Noble. I just calculated that I spent (including tax) approximately $150 on free reading books in just ten days.

An addiction is persistent: I spent this in 5 separate places at 5 different times (although 2/3 of it was spent at once). Also, I bought books even though I have many books sitting on my shelf unread. I bought more books than I will have time to read until summer vacation.

One of the most dangerous effects of addiction is rationalization: I had the opportunity to spend several hours in Barnes and Noble on Monday, and I simply kept adding to the stack of books I was carrying. It wasn't until I reached the checkout counter that I realized I was spending $100. I managed to rationalize each of my choices (I had been wanting to buy this one for so long! This one was such a good deal! This one looks like such an interesting story!) and determined to spend less money on books in the future. However, after this shopping spree and resolution, I was at an antique store with my friend and saw that they had many antique Nancy Drew books. I found a copy of the first book in the series that had been published in the 1930s. I rationalized this 12 dollar purchase thus: The first 34 Nancy Drew books were revised from 25 chapters to 20 beginning in the late 1950s, and the last time I had found an early version it had been 25 dollars. 12 dollars was such a good deal! A few days later I was on Amazon ordering my AP Government review flash cards. Amazon has this wonderful deal where if you spend $25 or more, you get "free supersaver shipping." The cards were 13 dollars, and I figured, why not spend 12 dollars on something instead of spending four wasted dollars on shipping? Of course, I couldn't find a book that I wanted that cost twelve dollars, but I managed to find a book that cost $8 (and I had been waiting for it to come out in paperback!) and another for $10 (and in a bookstore it would be 15!). So I rationalized spending an additional $30 on books after I spent 100 dollars on rationalized books at Barnes and Noble.

An addiction is characterized by withdrawal symptoms: Last year around the end of the summer, I hit a low. I had a lot of summer homework, and the past 5 times I had been in bookstores, I had not found a book to buy, although I'd had money with me. I went into a sort of "good book withdrawal." I would leave a bookstore feeling forlorn and mope home to do homework. I walked into the community college bookstore and decided I would find a book to buy, no matter what. Immediately I got a spring in my step (I'm not kidding) and I started walking briskly towards the literature section. I ended up buying Sense and Sensibility.

Obviously, I do not have a legitimate addiction because books are not a harmful substance, and I didn't buy all of the books I wanted too. I took several books out of my pile in Barnes and Noble and put them back on the shelf. I also went into Borders Express on Thursday without buying anything! However, I think I have more sympathy and understanding now for those who do have addictions. I suppose I can see where they're coming from.

The Right Way

I had a piano lesson last night, and my teacher explained to me how if I wanted to bring out the top (melody) note of the chords I was playing, I had to emphasize that note, which I was playing with my pinky. In order to do this I had been leaning my hand to put more weight on my pinky, but I ended up not aligning my fingers properly and playing with poor technique because of it. My teacher had me straighten my hand and play, and the top note sounded louder almost automatically. She smiled and said that our hands are well designed and if I use correct technique it will be easier for me to make everything sound good.

I was just thinking about that again today--how if I follow the rules of technique, it is so much easier to play and to play beautifully. Then I started thinking about how following the rules in anything often makes things easier and more beautiful. Following God's rules in the Bible about sexual purity now makes it easier to build a strong marriage later. Paying attention in class instead of texting and passing notes makes the material easier to learn and the test easier to pass.

Doing something correctly often makes it easier. And while we shouldn't assume that the easy thing is always the right thing (it is definitely not), it helps to have the encouragement that by following the rules now, we are doing something that will benefit us in the long run.

Razors

Occam's or Ockham's razor (plurality should not be posited without necessity) is the idea that the simplest solution is usually the correct one. It is not a perfect heuristic, but it is usually a good one, and can often help one decide which hypothesis to pursue. Today, as I was reading, I found a reference to Hanlon's razor.

Hanlon's razor is an adage (the name purposely references Ockham's) that says, "Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by stupidity." How amusing and true that is.