A Response to Carpe Diem

The purpose of a carpe diem poem is to procure the affections of a beloved by reminding her that life is short. As I was writing a poem this evening, it evolved into an imagined woman's response to the sentiment.

To His Coy Mistress

Andrew Marvell

Had we but world enough, and time,

This coyness, Lady, were no crime

We would sit down and think which way

To walk and pass our long love's day.

Thou by the Indian Ganges' side

Shouldst rubies find: I by the tide

Of Humber would complain. I would

Love you ten years before the Flood,

And you should, if you please, refuse

Till the conversion of the Jews.

My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires, and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise

Thine eyes and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast,

But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,

And the last age should show your heart.

For, Lady, you deserve this state,

Nor would I love at lower rate.

But at my back I always hear

Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;

And yonder all before us lie

Deserts of vast eternity.

Thy beauty shall no more be found,

Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound

My echoing song: then worms shall try

That long preserved virginity,

And your quaint honour turn to dust,

And into ashes all my lust:

The grave 's a fine and private place,

But none, I think, do there embrace.

Now therefore, while the youthful hue

Sits on thy skin like morning dew,

And while thy willing soul transpires

At every pore with instant fires,

Now let us sport us while we may,

And now, like amorous birds of prey,

Rather at once our time devour

Than languish in his slow-chapt power.

Let us roll all our strength and all

Our sweetness up into one ball,

And tear our pleasures with rough strife

Thorough the iron gates of life:

Thus, though we cannot make our sun

Stand still, yet we will make him run.

I'll Give You "Carpe Diem"!

Don't tell me again that I'm "desperate"

Don't think that you know what I need.

By saying you "know" that I'm lonely

You're only revealing your greed.

Are you just afraid of rejection?

Is that why you say, "Seize the day?"

Threats of old age are pathetic.

Can't you woo me in some other way?

Perhaps you need women's approval,

Or you're worried you won't find romance

Lest you tell me that I'm growing older

And assume you're my very last chance

Please realize my candor will help you.

When you meet a cute girl in her prime,

Don't say she's a spinster without you

And your luck might be better next time.

I'm not sure how I feel about the final result--it changed a lot while I was writing it. It was very acerbic at first, but I mellowed it as I wrote. I'm thinking of writing another similarly themed poem, but using more elevated language. It is definitely fun, though, to write a poem with a less mature tone occasionally. Plus, this proves that you can write poems with dactylic feet!

A Typical Car Ride

I don't usually post personal posts, but I thought I'd let you all see what a typical car ride is like with my siblings, through various snippets.

There was this one month where we saw road kill every single day on Freedom Boulevard. And every single day, my sister would make up a song. The best one was the one sung to the tune of "This train is bound for glory, this train." It was "This car is bound for your body, this car."
.......................
Stuart: MOM JUST ATE A COW! She opened her mouth and swallowed it in one gulp! SHE ATE A COW!!! (Apparently while my mom was talking, we had passed by a cow on a hillside at the perfect moment).

Sophia: Well, I'm gonna eat the cars. Opens mouth and makes chomping noises each time a car passes

Mom: You guys are acting like three year olds.
........................

Mom: That bus is going so slow, we're crawling. We'll never get there at this rate

Sophia: Well it takes a while for a THREE-YEAR-OLD to CRAWL 26 miles! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

.......................

Mom: Sophia, some day you are going to have to learn some discretion.

Sophia: That bus has a lot of discretion. It is a very discret-ful bus.
.......................
Stuart: There is this annoying kid at school who always says "Yes, ma'am" to me.
Sophia: But you're a boy
Stuart: Yeah, and he says it anyway!
Sophia: That's harassment! You should report him to the administration and they would have him persecuted.
Serena: I think you mean prosecuted
Sophia: No, persecuted.
Serena: But persecuted is... (trying to figure out how to explain the difference) really bad.
Sophia: Yeah, they should do something really bad to him.
Serena: No, it's like when they persecuted Christians in Rome. They would stone them or feed them to the lions.
Sophia: I know. He should be persecuted. I would throw stones at him.
Serena: But... um... prosecute is still what you mean. Like in a courtroom.
Stuart: OH! Like a prosecute attorney! And a defense attorney!
Serena: Yes. Stuart's got it. See Sophia?
Sophia: He should be stoned.

Free Verse

I don't like the free verse I write very much, so I'm thinking of giving this one meter and maybe rhyme. I'm also thinking of changing the title. Let me know if you think I should or shouldn't do either of those things.

From His Perspective

True, she may have wit and eloquence

But to be esteemed by me, she must enchant

She must possess the sensuous figure all girls want

Her movements must be lithe, each step a dance

Does she read? Does she care?

Is she wise? What does she love and hate?

Can she make good conversation when we meet?

These are not the kind of questions that prevail.

Are her lips full? And can her eyes beguile?

Can she turn heads with one toss of her hair?

The girl I want is one who can make men concur

With what she says by giving them a smile

No matter her intelligence, she'll suit me ill

Unless her looks fill me with longing

A good mind is worth nothing

Without a pretty face in front of it.

Known by its Fruit

Often people use being tired or hungry or stressed as an excuse for poor behavior. If we snap at someone or say something rudely, we explain that it was only said because "I didn't get any sleep last night."

Sometimes we even go so far as to blame others for our behavior. I might come home angry because a teacher was unfair in grading, or a friend insulted me. But is the behavior of others a valid excuse for my own selfishness, impoliteness, or resentment?

I read a metaphor for this last night. If you squeeze a sponge and get water on the floor, someone else might come along and wonder why you squeezed the sponge. The reality is that no water would have gotten on the floor if the sponge wasn't soaking wet to begin with. In the same way, people try to blame their faults on the squeeze of bad circumstances or another person's unkindness, but the squeeze merely reveals what was already in their hearts.

The article states, "In the same way, when we get squeezed by the circumstances of life (an inevitability), we ooze the overflow of our hearts. We usually don't like what we see, so we blame the squeeze. We blame the circumstances. "I wouldn't have reacted that way if I hadn't been tired." Or, "I only said that because I was hot, thirsty, and uncomfortable." That's our default setting: blame the circumstances.

But Jesus tells us the overflow is what's already in our hearts. Being tired, hot, thirsty, or uncomfortable are only "revealers"; they aren't the reason we react in anger. We're angry because anger has taken root in our hearts."

"For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:43-45

A Few Good Books

I've been quite negligent in posting recently, and it's not because I don't have anything to talk about. I have eight theological/philosophical/intellectual posts that are half written, but I have not had the time or mental energy to write them. Since I've been doing a lot of reading lately, I figured I'd recommend a couple books. What I realized after making these choices is that each has a unique style, is set at least partially in Europe during WWII or the Cold War, and made me laugh at least once while I was reading it. I've included a quote from each novel.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society--I want to reread this one. Normally I dislike epistolary novels, but I couldn't put this novel down. It is about the occupation of Guernsey during WWII, and the woman who writes letters to Guernsey inhabitants after the war. This book is witty and the characters are well developed and memorable.

"P.S. I am reading the collected correspondence of Mrs. Montagu. Do you know what that dismal woman wrote to Jane Carlyle? 'My dear little Jane, everybody is born with a vocation, and yours is to write charming little notes.' I hope Jane spat on her."

I Am David--This is a beautiful novel about a 12 year old boy who has grown up in a concentration camp and knows nothing of the outside world. He is given a chance to escape, and has to quickly learn how to stay hidden and find his way to a free country. I Am David is narrated in the third person limited, and the contrasting naiveté and wisdom in David's thoughts and interactions with others is fascinating.

"The sun glistened on a drop of water as it fell from his hand to his knee. David wiped it off, but it left no tidemark: there was no more dirt to rub away. He took a deep breath and shivered. He was David. Everything else was washed away, the camp, its smell, its touch--and now he was David, his own master, free--free as long as he could remain so."

Catch-22--Although Catch-22 is on the reading list of classics for outside reading, it does not feel like a "classic" because it's too funny and sometimes dark. Joseph Heller experiments a lot with time; the chapters are not arranged in chronological order. The way information is revealed is still very natural though. It is a satiric work about a squadron of soldiers during the later part of World War II, and most of the action takes place during this time. One of the chapters is full of dialogue that so ridiculous, it really should be a drama scene.

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' Yossarian observed.
'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed."

Transmogrify

Did you know that transmogrify is a word? I did not, until it was emailed to me as Merriam-Webster's word of the day. It means to change or alter greatly and often with grotesque or humorous effect. (If you don't like the "and" in that sentence and are wondering about it, know that I don't like it either. I think the syntax would be improved with a comma in its place, but I am copying verbatim.)

I had always thought it was a word made up by Bill Watterson, the creator of "Calvin and Hobbes," one of my favorite comic strips. You learn something new every day.

Friendship and Feminism

This post is dedicated to my dear friend, Estelle Richardson, who turns 18 today. I know my blog isn't supposed to be personal, but this post is. Happy Birthday, Estelle! Thank you for all the conversations, inside jokes, frustrations, secrets, tea, and laughter we have shared.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" - C. S. Lewis

Estelle is my feminist comrade, so in honor of her birthday, I am posting some selections from the speech I gave on the feminist revolution and the damage it inflicted on women. It's long, and blog spot wants to double space it, so I'm making the type smaller. (If it seems a little scattered, it is because it was my notes for the speech, and there were a few things that I explained in the speech which I didn't need to write out word for word.)

During the sixties, what is called the second wave of the feminist movement began to sweep the nation. Women’s rights had been fought for by suffragists during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, but this was a new more radical form of feminism, focusing more on social and economic equality, and reproduction rights.

Just as a quick clarification of terms, when I say feminism, I am not referring to the women’s suffrage movement, or the belief in political equality. I am referring to the second and third wave feminism, what is sometimes termed “extreme feminism”: the belief that woman and men are exactly the same, and all differences are socially conditioned, the belief that every single woman must be completely independent and work outside of the home to find fulfillment, (essentially when I refer to feminism I am describing the opinions presented by Gloria Steinem, Margaret Sanger, and [Betty Friedan in The Feminine Mystique)

Although feminism, just like abolitionism and the civil rights movement, was built at first on noble principles, radical feminism failed and is failing in key ways to actually improve the condition of women and America as a whole.

1. Feminism fails to protect women

It used to be optional for women to work, one income was enough—

so many women began to work, more workers (supply and demand) now necessary for two incomes.

Feminists struck down

Family wage- for men supporting a wife and children

No fault divorce-eliminated rules, which endangered women. now unsafe for a woman to devote herself to making the home and raising children

ERA- complete equality of rights under the law for both sexes.

women already have the same constitutional rights

Definitively clarified no legal distinction between men and women. Draft, combat, labor laws, custody. Maternity leave?

Female condoms were introduced in 1993, and hailed by feminists groups as sexually liberating for women, saying, now you won’t have to worry if he won’t wear a condom. But is it really liberating for women to be expected to have a relationship with a man who has so little respect for her that he refuses to wear a condom to protect her? This idea of women being able to and needing to protect themselves instead of finding someone who respects them is more demeaning and degrading to women than being “liberating.”

2. Feminism damages families

Abortion, practical standpoint, sexual freedom is emotionally damaging. It is bad to be married and have a single romantic partner. “If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don't blame the women's movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.” Betty Freidan “Fem Myst”

"We can't destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage." -- Robin Morgan

Feminists generally advocate having multiple relationships, never committing unless it is convenient. Some even go to the extremes of advocating lesbianism.

Never having the security of marriage or even commitment within a short term romantic relationship could not be healthy emotionally for American women

Harry Harlow’s famous cloth mother/wire mother experiments proved that more than physical needs being met is necessary for children’s development—the comfort of a mother.

Thirty-seven percent of married mothers work full time, and another 36 percent work part time. Fifty three percent of mothers with children under the age of one are working mothers.

Researchers have identified clear links between care provided for children in the early years, and brain development. If the brain is not fully developed until after puberty, then it is important for mothers (and fathers too) to be fostering healthy relationships with their children.

A study conducted by Alan Sroufe and Byron Egeland at the University of Minnesota found that children who had predictable, reliable relationships developed fewer behavior problems at school. These children also showed higher confidence levels and better social relationships

It is not wrong for mothers to work, but feminist ideology, by lessening the importance of motherhood and stating that women need to find other sources of fulfillment is harmful to the family and the mother.

3. Feminism creates a new confining role for women.

My mom is an ESL teacher who works part time at Cabrillo College. Last year she decided to take two years off of work and stay at home until I graduated from high school. She has become a lot less stressed… happier… getting things done… house runs smoother… homework help instead of grading papers, more family dinners because she isn’t working on evenings. She says she prefers being at home and cooking.

Jane Sellman “The phrase, ‘working mother’ is a redundancy.”

This doesn’t apply to every woman, or even every mother. Feminism, by demeaning housewives, (only fulfillment) puts an added strain on many women.

"[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children...parasites." ~ Gloria Steinem, "What It Would Be Like If Women Win," Time, August 31, 1970.

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry...not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self.... [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife." ~ Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.

By striking out against housewives, feminists have created an enduring image in our culture of the independent business woman who can do anything, who can raise children while she and her husband work full time. Feminists have imposed an ideal of “superwoman” on countless innocent women and teenagers.

While radical feminists have tried to demolish the image of the submissive housewife suffering in a brutal male society, they have erected their own ideal of what women should look and act like, and in doing so, have become the very thing which they sought to overthrow.

The Man who Made the Piano Sing

Today is Frederic Chopin's 200th Birthday! Chopin is one of my favorite composers for the piano--I am working on one of his preludes right now with my piano teacher. While I was working on the 2nd page (the part that starts on 1:13 of the video) my teacher told me that I needed to make the melody line sing, because Chopin always thought of the human voice when he composed for the piano, and you can hear it in his lush, lyrical works. (Beethoven always thought of strings, so that's what you have to imitate when you play his piano works.)

Chopin's work is featured in the excellent book and its movie adaptation, The Pianist, about pianist and Polish Holocaust survivor Wladyslaw Spilzman.

For some more lovely Chopin listening, try a Ballade, a Nocturne, or a Prelude