Jane Austen's Men

Just the other day, I finished watching Mansfield Park (The newer version I believe) and Emma (the Gwyneth Paltrow version) with my good friend Kaitlin. Our two favorite men out of all of Austen's characters are Mr. Knightley and Captain Frederick Wentworth. What we wanted to figure out was who is our favorite of the two. We settled on Knightley and then proceeded to debate the merits of several of her other male protagonists. Here for your enjoyment (or argument) is my list of ranked Austen men.

Note: I haven't seen all of the movies, but I've read all six of her books, so this list is based solely on the novels, although the movies might have unconsciously influenced me. This also doesn't reflect which Austen works are my favorite, just the male characters.

1. Mr. George Knightley (of Emma): Mr. Knightley has character, maturity, and wisdom. He recognizes (and often points out) Emma's faults, but he loves her in spite of them. He cares about those less fortunate, as evinced by his sensitivity to Miss Bates, and is a true gentleman, shown when he asks the spurned Harriet to dance with him.

2. Captain Frederick Wentworth (of Persuasion): His constancy to Anne, even after 8 years of separation, is truly admirable. He admires her not on a merely superficial level, but because he recognizes her character. The love letter he writes to her at the end of the novel is so eloquent and romantic.

3/4. Henry Tilney (of Northanger Abbey): Henry is utterly charming, intelligent, and witty. He is hard to place on this list, because, as the novel is a parody of gothic literature, you only get to know his personality, and not his character. However, I know that he has all the charm of a Willoughby, without the character defects.

3/4. Edmund Bertram (of Mansfield Park): Edmund is so caring. He is the only one concerned with Fanny's wellbeing, even before he falls in love with her.

5. Edward Ferrars (of Sense and Sensibility): I'm not sure about my placement of him, because I don't remember his characterization very well from the book. He is intelligent and kindhearted, and he displays a very honorable desire to keep his word when he is engaged to Lucy Steele, whom he does not love.

6. Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy (of Pride and Prejudice): I know he is considered the perfect man by some, but I think he pales in comparison to many of Austen's other protagonists. That being said, I admire his wit, his respectable character, his devotion to Elizabeth, and the character change he undergoes throughout the book.

7. Colonel Brandon (from Sense and Sensibility): I don't think Brandon should be last, but I don't know where to place him. I never really got to know him during Sense and Sensibility, and I never (ever) understood his attachment to Marianne, as she hardly spoke to him or noticed his presence. He is however, a kind and loyal man. If anyone can suggest a place for him in the ranking, it would be greatly appreciated.

There you have it. I am not firm in the placement of any of them except the first two, and that Darcy be rather near the end. How would you rank Austen's men?

Food and Villains

I have two unusually delicious recipes and a list of villains to share with you.

Frosted Crackers

Melt butter and mix in powdered sugar until it has the consistency of frosting. Spread on saltine crackers. It is so delicious and addicting! You can use non-homemade frosting, but it won't be as good as powdered sugar and butter frosting.

Thirst Quencher

Mix one part carrot juice and two parts orange juice. Vary the ratio of orange or carrot to taste. Carrot juice might not sound good (I don't like it), but mixed with orange juice it is very satisfying.

Reeses Toast

Toast a piece of bread and spread peanut butter on it. Then take chocolate syrup and drizzle lightly over the peanut butter. Spread the chocolate with a knife so it evenly coats the peanut butter.

I'm not exactly sure what this tagging thing is, but Zella has tagged me and told me to list my seven favorite fictional villains, so here they are (with explanations).

1. Professor Moriaty from Sherlock Holmes: The only villain who could outthink Holmes. He is brilliant!

2. Aornis from Lost in a Good Book: This isn't necessarily because she is a fabulous villain, but because her method of murder is so clever! She decreases entropy in order to kill by coincidence on purpose!

3. Artemis Fowl: He clever and is always two steps ahead of the others. I especially love the last book (The Time Paradox) when the reformed Artemis has to fight against his younger (still evil) self.

4. Vice Principal Nero from A Series of Unfortunate Events: This was a difficult one. I love all the villains in the series, from Esme Squalor to the man with the beard but no hair and the woman with the hair but no beard. I picked Nero because he is so ridiculously illogical, one wants to strangle him. Also, he plays horrible, screechy, six-hour violin concerts and forces the students to attend. His punishments are absurd (buying him a bag of candy and watching him eat it, taking away silverware and forcing students to eat with their hands tied behind their back) and he likes to repeat students' sentences in a high pitched squeal to mock them.

5. The villain from Demons and Angels: I can't say who it is, because it would be a spoiler, but the reason I picked this one is the surprise it gave me. When I found out who the villain was I literally had to sit for 10 minutes and process it.

6. Lady Macbeth from Macbeth: Macbeth was one of the first Shakespeare plays I read, and I love Lady Macbeth, especially because of her eventual mental breakdown. She is manipulative but eventually succumbs to the evil she has done, and she, I think, is one of Shakespeare's more human villains.

7. The Tin Man from House: House is one of the scariest books I have ever read. I had trouble deciding between two Dekker villains (the other was Eve from Adam) but Tin Man ended up winning. The story of House goes like this: four people end up locked inside a deserted house that they thought was a hotel. A tin can is dropped down the chimney. It reads, "Welcome to my house. House rules: 1. God came to my house and I killed him. 2. I will kill anyone who comes to my house as I killed God. 3. Give me one dead body, and I might let rule two slide. Game over at dawn."

So there is my list of villains. I don't know that they're necessarily all of my favorites, but they are ones that I have particularly liked :)

Somewhat Like a Drug Addiction

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, an addiction is a compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.

So, some of the necessary characteristics to define an addiction are that it is compulsive, it is persistent, there are symptoms upon withdrawal, and the substance is harmful. Also, according to a website about drug abuse and addiction, "one of the most dangerous effects of drug abuse and addiction is denial. The urge to use is so strong, that the mind finds many ways to rationalize the addiction."

As I was musing recently, I found some interesting parallels between my impulsive and compulsive buying and reading of books and substance addiction.

A Quick Caveat: I do not wish to belittle substance abuse and addiction, or to claim that my situation is in any way comparable--it is only similar on a MUCH smaller scale. In addition, I am not claiming to be addicted to books (books, unlike drugs, are not a negative or harmful substance), so please do not accuse me of hypocrisy when my next blog post about meaningless hyperbole is published.

An addiction is compulsive: Over spring break, I found myself repeatedly buying books, even after a shopping spree at Barnes and Noble. I just calculated that I spent (including tax) approximately $150 on free reading books in just ten days.

An addiction is persistent: I spent this in 5 separate places at 5 different times (although 2/3 of it was spent at once). Also, I bought books even though I have many books sitting on my shelf unread. I bought more books than I will have time to read until summer vacation.

One of the most dangerous effects of addiction is rationalization: I had the opportunity to spend several hours in Barnes and Noble on Monday, and I simply kept adding to the stack of books I was carrying. It wasn't until I reached the checkout counter that I realized I was spending $100. I managed to rationalize each of my choices (I had been wanting to buy this one for so long! This one was such a good deal! This one looks like such an interesting story!) and determined to spend less money on books in the future. However, after this shopping spree and resolution, I was at an antique store with my friend and saw that they had many antique Nancy Drew books. I found a copy of the first book in the series that had been published in the 1930s. I rationalized this 12 dollar purchase thus: The first 34 Nancy Drew books were revised from 25 chapters to 20 beginning in the late 1950s, and the last time I had found an early version it had been 25 dollars. 12 dollars was such a good deal! A few days later I was on Amazon ordering my AP Government review flash cards. Amazon has this wonderful deal where if you spend $25 or more, you get "free supersaver shipping." The cards were 13 dollars, and I figured, why not spend 12 dollars on something instead of spending four wasted dollars on shipping? Of course, I couldn't find a book that I wanted that cost twelve dollars, but I managed to find a book that cost $8 (and I had been waiting for it to come out in paperback!) and another for $10 (and in a bookstore it would be 15!). So I rationalized spending an additional $30 on books after I spent 100 dollars on rationalized books at Barnes and Noble.

An addiction is characterized by withdrawal symptoms: Last year around the end of the summer, I hit a low. I had a lot of summer homework, and the past 5 times I had been in bookstores, I had not found a book to buy, although I'd had money with me. I went into a sort of "good book withdrawal." I would leave a bookstore feeling forlorn and mope home to do homework. I walked into the community college bookstore and decided I would find a book to buy, no matter what. Immediately I got a spring in my step (I'm not kidding) and I started walking briskly towards the literature section. I ended up buying Sense and Sensibility.

Obviously, I do not have a legitimate addiction because books are not a harmful substance, and I didn't buy all of the books I wanted too. I took several books out of my pile in Barnes and Noble and put them back on the shelf. I also went into Borders Express on Thursday without buying anything! However, I think I have more sympathy and understanding now for those who do have addictions. I suppose I can see where they're coming from.

A Few Good Books

I've been quite negligent in posting recently, and it's not because I don't have anything to talk about. I have eight theological/philosophical/intellectual posts that are half written, but I have not had the time or mental energy to write them. Since I've been doing a lot of reading lately, I figured I'd recommend a couple books. What I realized after making these choices is that each has a unique style, is set at least partially in Europe during WWII or the Cold War, and made me laugh at least once while I was reading it. I've included a quote from each novel.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society--I want to reread this one. Normally I dislike epistolary novels, but I couldn't put this novel down. It is about the occupation of Guernsey during WWII, and the woman who writes letters to Guernsey inhabitants after the war. This book is witty and the characters are well developed and memorable.

"P.S. I am reading the collected correspondence of Mrs. Montagu. Do you know what that dismal woman wrote to Jane Carlyle? 'My dear little Jane, everybody is born with a vocation, and yours is to write charming little notes.' I hope Jane spat on her."

I Am David--This is a beautiful novel about a 12 year old boy who has grown up in a concentration camp and knows nothing of the outside world. He is given a chance to escape, and has to quickly learn how to stay hidden and find his way to a free country. I Am David is narrated in the third person limited, and the contrasting naiveté and wisdom in David's thoughts and interactions with others is fascinating.

"The sun glistened on a drop of water as it fell from his hand to his knee. David wiped it off, but it left no tidemark: there was no more dirt to rub away. He took a deep breath and shivered. He was David. Everything else was washed away, the camp, its smell, its touch--and now he was David, his own master, free--free as long as he could remain so."

Catch-22--Although Catch-22 is on the reading list of classics for outside reading, it does not feel like a "classic" because it's too funny and sometimes dark. Joseph Heller experiments a lot with time; the chapters are not arranged in chronological order. The way information is revealed is still very natural though. It is a satiric work about a squadron of soldiers during the later part of World War II, and most of the action takes place during this time. One of the chapters is full of dialogue that so ridiculous, it really should be a drama scene.

"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' Yossarian observed.
'It's the best there is,' Doc Daneeka agreed."

The Decline of Young Adult Fiction

Why is young adult fiction so formulaic?

It's rather depressing how YA fiction, and even children's novels, have been reduced so drastically in quality.

I walked into Barnes and Noble the other day, and there was an ENTIRE shelf devoted to vampire novels that were just cheaper versions of the Twilight series (and don't even get me started about the Twilight series!)

Even Christian YA fiction has become so so so formulaic! It bothers me to no end. If you pick up any Christian romance novel, the complete plot will be almost always be this: A Christian girl or guy (in this case lets pick a guy and call him Chris to make things simple) meets a non-Christian person of the opposite sex (let's call her Agnes). They are strongly attracted to each other from the MOMENT they set eyes upon each other. However, Chris realizes Agnes is not a believer, and knows that he cannot be unequally yoked. He has a hard time fighting his ever growing feelings for Agnes. Usually they end up going on several "unofficial" dates (either they are forced together by unusual circumstances, they are criminal investigators who are working on the same case etc) and spend time alone. Chris talks to Agnes about his faith, but she has some sort of fundamental barrier against believing in God (i.e. How can God allow suffering? or How can I trust in something I cannot see?). Finally, Agnes does become a Christian and both are extremely happy and kiss. Sometimes Chris proposes, and sometimes they just become an item.

That's why I don't read much Christian YA fiction anymore. If I want romance, I read Jane Austen. She did not write by formula.

Of course fantasy can be formulaic too! (read Dan Bergstein's hilarious post on this! http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/08/03/how-to-write-your-own-fantasy-novel). But my main problem with fantasy is authors writing themselves into a corner and then coming up with bigger magic so that they can over come their problem. Someone dies? Now we have a way to raise them from the dead. This person is then banished to the underworld and completely dead? Now there's a spell to bring them back as a ghost... and it just goes on.

Maybe that's part of the reason I'm thinking about becoming an editor... I want to be able to help authors avoid formulaic writing.

"Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." ~P.J. O'Rourke

e. e. cummings

My first poet is e. e. cummings. While I don't agree with the messages of some of his poems, (i.e. "since feeling is first") I think he expresses his ideas in a beautifully poetic manner. I've actually written two poems in his style. I'll give you two e. e. cummings pieces, and then the two I've written.

since feeling is first
e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

i carry your heart with me
e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Now for my poems. You should know enough about me to recognize that neither of these poems are based on my personal experiences. I used an e. e. cummings' subject matter (love).

presently, i see you and understand

presently, i see you and understand

more secrets hide within me than a spring (hides bubbling

beneath the earth) deepness puddles in my soul

brimming:less than the pools in your eyes which are

holding the meaning of that first kiss, powerfully transient

drink deeply—my mind knows you

are part of the color rising in my cheeks.

your hand in mine (no raindrop knows the cloud or sea)

this moment time recognizes;but does not know

before and behind:which is not, our need

only the smile on my lips, my head resting (herenow)

in the familiar place on your shoulder.

after the rain when the sky is silent

after the rain when the sky is silent

and i am brave enough to walk outside i think of you--remember

when our minds conversed(and sang in harmony)

i used to waltz through stormy weather with

you(bright jewel)hung in my heart;i thought

i knew all i needed about;the bright sea of stars:

we named at night smiled(because you

played counterpoint to their phrygian melody)

but this is all whatusedtobe

and

not

what

is

the harmony between us soured and diminished:and then

all you left me was your echo and i

learned that the blackemptiness that separates the stars can

muffle(entirely) their song;with a silence louder than memory.

i think of you and try to weep, but i

cannot even recall the taste of your smile

My Poetry Project

I've decided to give myself a challenge. Every day, or more likely every few days, I will post a couple poems by a poet I enjoy, and then a poem that I will write in his or her style.

If necessary, I'll fall back on poems I've already written and edit them for the blog, but what I'm trying to do is get in the habit of writing poetry more frequently. I think giving myself a project like this will be helpful.

"Ink runs from the corners of my mouth

There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry."
~Mark Strand

"Out of the quarrel with others we make rhetoric; out of the quarrel with ourselves we make poetry." ~W.B. Yeats

"Poetry: the best words in the best order" ~Samuel Coleridge

Six Word Stories

A famous legend says Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story using only six words. He wrote "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Some people call it his best story. Others say it's just a folk tale.

Some of my favorite six words stories follow:

With bloody hands, I say goodbye.

-Frank Miller

It cost too much, staying human.

-Bruce Sterling

Found true love. Married someone else.

-Dave Eggers

Kirby had never eaten toes before.

-Kevin Smith

Easy. Just touch the match to

-Ursula K. Le Guin

Please, this is everything, I swear

-Orson Scott Card

I saw, darling, but do lie.

-Orson Scott Card

Finally, he had no more words

-Gregory Maguire

He read his obituary with confusion

-Steven Meretzky

"Kitty will be fine," he lied.

-Dan Bergstein

"Forgive me!" "What for?" "Never mind."

-John Updike

My nemesis is dead. Now what?

-Michael Cunningham

As she fell, her mind wandered.

-Rebecca Miller

A book, called Not Quite What I Was Planning is an anthology of six word stories and memoirs. They are pretty fun! I haven't written any of my own yet, but I'm working on it :)

Fantastic Duos!

This blog is dedicated to just what the title says, awesome pairs, famous collaborations... :D

First off: Itzhak Perlman, violinist, and Daniel Barenboim, pianist, play Brahms
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L5nSwAND3Y

Next, one of my favorite movie-musical scenes: Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby in "White Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YhTKiFEMAg
(Note: If you haven't seen the movie, you might want to watch this FIRST for context: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYZbgG4D2oA)

Our next wonderful combination is: Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTy-4YRRwdY

(BONUS (!) for those who love the old classics: Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby in "High Society"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liSrzc_OdDw)

Now to a literary combination: Frank Peretti (the definitive Christian suspense writer) and Ted Dekker (the other big writer in that genre) combined to write House, which is one of the scariest books I have ever read - even rereading, when I already know what is going to happen, is scary!
It is really good! Don't go see the movie though. They take the Christian redemptive message out of the story and just make it a lame scary movie (or so I've heard. I haven't actually seen it.)
http://www.amazon.com/House-Frank-Peretti/dp/1595541551

Another combination is Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson - although well known in popular culture, not many people read stories beyond "The Adventure of the Speckled Band." I recently bought The Complete Sherlock Holmes and I am absolutely loving it. Here is a link that has the complete text of some of the short stories: http://www.mysterynet.com/holmes/more.shtml

Finally, two famous comic book duos: Calvin and Hobbes

(url if you cannot view the image: http://woodside.blogs.com/cosmologycuriosity/images/2007/06/05/calvin_hobbes_pascals_wager_pascal_.jpg)

And: Betty and Veronica from the Archie comics, which Sophia and I used to read

(http://archie-blogs.archiecomics.com/archie_news/bvd181_0.jpg)

I will leave you with "Anything you can do" a hilarious duet. It is originally from the musical "Annie Get Your Gun," but it is taken out of context in a wonderful way :) Performed by the wonderful Ruthie Henshall with John Barrowman
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJvPjelxxj0

Good Summer Reads

Although for some of us who are headed back to school there is very little summer left, I decided to give my recommended summer reads. None of these are extremely long, nor do they have sequels. After a battle with myself, I removed the "classics," figuring most people would rather read casually this summer... I've included a warning about any objectionable content, so you can be well informed :)

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston. This is an intriguing book about stopping the outbreak of an exotic "hot" virus in America, a virus that kills 9/10 of it's victims. What makes it scarier: It's all true! I just bought this non-fiction book yesterday, and have already read more than half of it. It is one of the most exciting books I've ever read, and definitely the most exciting work of nonfiction I've read. I highly recommend it to those who are not overly squeamish.
Caveat: There are some four letter words found in the dialogue. Also, the victims of this virus do die gruesomely because of the way the virus destroys their organs. I have been fine with it so far, but some who are more squeamish than me might not want to read this.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. One of my all time favorite works of historical fiction. This poignant book is set during WWII, and is narrated by death, although the book focuses on Liesel, a young orphan girl whose foster parents hide a Jew. I've read this novel twice, and after each time reading it, I've felt that I could start over again that instant and read it again. I don't want to give any more away, so I will just say this is an absolutely beautiful book, and you won't regret reading it!
Caveat: There are sad things that happen in this book. It is not a tragedy altogether though. There is a bit of swearing, but most is in German.

Thr3e by Ted Dekker. This is a fast paced suspense novel, but it isn't very scary (if you want scary, read Adam by Dekker. Really good!) A man receives a mysterious phone call saying he must confess his sin or his car will blow up in 3 minutes. This plot deals with good and evil, and anyone who is interested in theology or psychology should find it fascinating.
Caveat: There is the normal violence that comes with mystery novels, but nothing excessive or gory.

The Cross and the Switchblade by David Wilkerson. One of my all time favorite books. The autobiography of the man who felt called to go to New York City as an evangelist and start a street ministry. One of the few books I can read over and over. This book is short, but packs in so much; it's anything but dull!
Caveat: None, other than the fact that it deals with gangs and so must mention drugs, violence, etc.

Double Star by Robert A. Heinlein. (This is the obligatory fantasy/sci-fi book. I don't read much of the genre, but I figured I needed to include at least one) This is my Dad's favorite work of sci-fi, which I read a long time ago. It's an interesting story about an actor who is hired to impersonate an important leader in the galaxy.
Caveat: None that I remember.

Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. This is a fresh look at Christianity presented in the form of humorous essays. It is an easy, fun, thought-provoking read :)
Caveat: As with any book about theology, this might be more liberal or more conservative than what you believe. I'm not presenting it as the gospel truth, but it raises some excellent points, especially the chapter about Jesus and the "Lifeboat" chapter.